Sometimes I sit down to write....
and I just stare at this blank screen. Thoughts swirl around in my head and I just don't know where to start. I've lost my writing/blogging groove and I miss it. I miss taking the time to write down the funny things Grant says or about the way that Jarom is turning into such a fine young man. I miss writing about making rolls with Bryson and how he shines when we get to spend one on one time together and about the chats that Savannah and I have each morning as I comb her hair for school. I miss writing about the things that matter most to me.
Something has got to give.
I've been working on getting my blog books done for 2010 and 2011. And there is a stark difference between how much I shared those two separate years. As I read through my posts from 2010, I cried and I laughed and I smiled and I felt really, REALLY glad that I had made it a point to spend time blogging. I loved working on 2010 so much, that I snuck downstairs to read through my blog books all of the way back to the beginning. I pretty much have the worst memory on the planet, so it's good for me to write things down. It's a good place for me to write and JUST FEEL what I feel.
I'm not exactly sure what I've got to let go of yet, in order for me to make time for more blogging. I miss taking pictures of my kids. I miss documenting our lives. I've been searching through folders looking for pictures of my kids and folder after folder after folder are all full of newborns. No pictures of my children. I've gone through this before, when my photography business got really busy. And I feel like I'm kind of back in that spot. Thinking, "Do I love having a business still?" I'm not sure that I do. So I need to spend some time thinking about it and deciding what really matters most to me.
But for now, I'm off to the gym. Gonna go do some strength training and zumba. I know for now, the gym is not something I could give up.
4 comments:
Balance is one of the hardest things for us to achieve as women and moms. Inherent to both roles is giving - more often to others than to ourselves. Pray and open your heart and mind and I am confident you will find your path back to a more satisfying balance and if it's any consolation, recognizing that you are missing that equilibrium is a step in the right direction.
I am struggling with this too! The gym is so important for my well-being, yet it takes up SO much of my day. It's hard to find the balance!!
You know, I have been working on my books (the same years!) and it is really sad for me as well. I think with me going to school and JR being gone so much, life was lived and not in pictures. I refuse for it to be this way this year. I am have a little sticky note by my computer that says "Blog now, or suffer later". We both know what "suffer" in this case means. Hang in there...and keep blogging!
Hey There I have missed you Blogging and posting pictures too. It's so hard to find that balance I have been really bad about mine too but want to get back into it because it truly is so wonderful to be able to look back and see all those memories written down and to see the pictures it almost takes you right back to that moment. I hope your doing good!
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