Sunshine In My Soul

Bear, a week ago today.....

you turned 11. Really? Already? You woke up REALLY early and tried patiently to wait for the others to wake up so that you could open your presents.

You got just what you wanted: an itunes gift card, some more Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and a digital camera (because you want to start adding pictures to your blog). So fun!

We quickly ate a delicious breakfast, one of your favorites, biscuits with egg gravy, and then it was time for you to leave for scout camp. What? I had a really hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that you were leaving me for 4.5 days. That you were going to be out in the wilderness, hiking 50 miles, sleeping underneath the stars, experiencing something brand new.... without me. The only thing that eased my mind was to know that dad was going to be there with you, encouraging you, watching you, protecting you, helping you.

I didn't hear from Dad much during that time....just a few texts. And I knew that you were struggling. My heart was full of prayers for you and every time we prayed here at home, we prayed that you'd be safe and have the strength that you needed. Moose missed you a lot. Like a lot, A LOT! He'd come in to find me, eyes welled up with tears, and he'd just fall into my lap and cry and cry.

When you came home, there was something different in your eyes. Somehow you'd changed. You'd grown. You did something that was incredibly hard. YOU DID IT! Dad and I went out to eat that night and he shared all of the experiences you guys had at scout camp. It was hard for him to hold back the tears. For some boys, testimonies were strengthened....for others, testimonies gained. But all 21 boys felt the Spirit and accomplished something great! Bear, I'm SO proud of you...proud as any mom could be! I LOVE you more than I could ever say! One thing I do know, our house just isn't the same without you here! Love you, bud!!!

11 things I love about you:

1. You are such a good brother. You are so happy to play with the kids, sometimes I'll even find you tucked away with Little Miss playing Pet Shops with her for hours at a time.

2. You adore me. Okay, that might sound totally arrogant, but you do. You often come to me during the day, rub my arm, look up in my eyes, and ask if there is anything you can do to help me. You ALWAYS tell me how much you love me....and sometimes you still slip your hand into mine when we walk somewhere together.

3. You are a hard worker. Anytime there is a job to get done, you jump right in and work, work, work until the job is done.

4. I love that you LOVE to talk. I'm not that big of a talker, I mean, I can be if I have something to say...but most of the time, I'd just rather listen. I laughed as we were driving up to Roosevelt the other day, that you hadn't stopped talking for 20 minutes straight. And it wasn't about anything in particular at all...just this n that. I giggled and you said, "What? I like to talk!"

5. You love to read and have read all kinds of books (mostly science fiction/fantasy books - not at all the kind I like to read) and then you tell me all about them and go on and on....well, because see #4 :)

6. You have the cutest wink I've ever seen. When you were performing "O, America" and you were standing on stage, just about 15 feet from me, I watched as you performed. I saw you right away and then tried to make eye contact with Bear and Little Miss. Little Miss...check. Where is Moose? Tucked behind another kid, blocking our view. Dad nudged me and said, "Bear has been winking nonstop at you for the last minute. He's trying to get your attention." I looked over and there you were....wink, wink, wink. I winked back. You smiled.

7. You love to sing and can learn the lyrics to any song WAY faster than me. You told me that you wanted to sign up for EVMCO again "because you only have so much more time to prepare for American Idol auditions and you need all of the practice you can get."

8. You have a tender heart. You can't stand to see someone else sad and go out of your way to help them be happy...including me.

9. You are just like your dad. Tender and talkative, outgoing and funloving, hardworking and personable.

10. You are thankful....always, always, always saying "thank you."

11. You love your cousins and friends and look forward to spending time with them, too.