Sunshine In My Soul

Change is in the air....

And oh how I hate change! Oh yah, I've really been trying NOT to use that "h" word....but saying that I really, really, really dislike change is quite an understatement. I'm comfortable here. I know just who to call when I'm in a pinch. I know the teachers at the school and have great communication with them. I know which teachers have personalities that will mesh well with my children and know who to request for teachers for the next year. We will be closing on the "new house" in a few weeks and it's just hard to imagine that this is really happening. That we will really be leaving - moving away from our neighbors and awesome school and dear friends. It's not like we are moving THAT far away...just about a 20 minute drive. But it's far enough that I know I won't see friends from the neighborhood as often as I do now. KNOWING that this is the right thing for our family makes it a teency bit easier for me, but just a little. But the hardest part is watching my children and their emotions swirling around the whole situation.

I tried to bear my testimony at church on Sunday...which was basically just a really bad idea. I could NOT stop the tears and I basically just stood there in front of the whole congregation with tears streaming down my face. I'm pretty sure I didn't make any sense. Oh well! I tried!

Wednesday night I couldn't sleep, which really isn't anything new. I'd fallen asleep around 11:30 and was wide awake again right at 2:00. I layed there in bed, tossing and turning, staring at the ceiling, staring at the clock. Normally I'll just stay in bed, and if I hear Brett roll around, I just lay as still as possible, so that I wouldn't worry him. My sleeping issues sometimes make him a little crazy. If he wakes up and I'm not there, he comes to find me and gets frustrated that I can't sleep....which then means he can't sleep. And well, we're not that great of a team when we are BOTH sleep deprived. But that night I decided to go and check on the kids. Wandering the house at 2:45 am, I found Bear rocking back and forth with his arms holding his stomach, sitting on the couch. He said he had woken up right at 2 and couldn't sleep. He was worried about making friends. We talked and I tried to help him feel comfortable, but he just seemed to get more and more upset until he was having a hard time breathing. We woke Brett up around 3:45, so that Bear could get a priesthood blessing. Within minutes Bear was calm and fast asleep. I'm thankful for the priesthood in our home.

These next few months will have it's challenges, I'm sure. But it's times like these where I feel closer to my Heavenly Father...when I have that constant prayer in my heart...where I'm more focused on the feelings of those I love the most. That change is coming...and maybe, just maybe, it'll be easier than anticipated! Here's hoping!