Tonight I spent some time wiping tears. Wiping tears of deep despair from a heartbroken tenderhearted girl and feeling her own aching deep within my chest. She desperately wanted Chubs to sleep in the fort that they made yesterday and had slept in together last night. But he wanted his bed and a comfy mattress to sleep on. Who could blame him?
"I just want a sister," she sobbed. "I don't want to be alone anymore. I want someone to sleep in my room. Someone who likes to play the same things as me. Someone who just wants to be with me." I tried to console her and tell her how I much I loved to be with her, because I do. But sometimes it's best just to listen. To just wipe tears and listen. And so I did.
She told me through choking sobs of how her teacher had asked each child to think of one wish, and one wish only, to write about. To really think hard about what they wanted more than anything else in the whole wide world. She said, "Mom, I couldn't decide whether to wish for a sister or to wish for Grandma to be alive again. To be alive in her body right here with me. I mean, I really, really, really want a sister, but I think I want Grandma alive MORE...so I wished for that. But, Mom, I still really want a sister. Please adopt a sister for me. Please!!!!" My heart just breaks for her. It breaks because I have FOUR sisters. Four amazing sisters who I LOVE to be with. Who like to do the same things I like to do. Who just like to be with me. And I cannot imagine my life without them.
I wiped her tears and held her. I held her until those last stuttered breaths ceased. Until her breaths were long and deep...and then I let my own tears fall for my sweet daughter whose heart is heavy and sad tonight. I love you Little Miss! So much more than I know how to express!