We tried to race the sun as it set....
as we sped toward the cemetery last night. Jarom's soccer practice had gone 24 minutes over. I wanted to grab him and make him leave early....but I also didn't want to be the mom who took their kid out early on the first practice of the season when the coach was trying to go over stuff with the boys. So I waited and waited and waited, thinking, "Surely they have got to finish any second now." But they didn't.
And the setting sun won the race. We didn't make it in time. Yesterday marked four years since Brett's mom had passed. The kids were all looking forward to being at the cemetery. We like to sit together there and share our happy memories. There were a few tears when they knew we were too late.
So we headed to Outback Steakhouse, one of Brett's mom's favorites. Yesterday as I cleaned the kitchen, I wondered to myself, "Was it really one of her favorites or did she just know how much her family loved it that she pretended it was her favorite?" I don't know. So instead, we sat around the table.... interestingly enough they sat us where we used to always sit with her.... and shared those happy memories and listened to her voice that is recorded in one of Savannah's stuffed animals. We miss her every day!
This past Sunday as Brett was going through some things in his office, he found a letter that she wrote to him just a few weeks before she passed away. I want my kids to know how their Grandma felt about their daddy....
December 25, 2007
As you well know, I'm not known for my letter writing ability or the ability to express my thoughts and feelings. It seems as though a mother with a son like you could go on forever.
I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and am so proud of who you have become - if I could pick the qualities I would want in a son, you have them all.
I love watching you with your little family. How you love them and they know it and they love you in return. I am grateful that you have put them first in your life.
I am grateful for your choice in a wife; I could not have picked one that would have been more suited for you, if I would have been able to choose. I love the way you support each other as you work together in raising your family and leading them along that straight and narrow path.
I love to watch you in your professional pursuits and how you have grown and learned so many ways to help those that seek your help. It is wonderful that you have the ability and knowledge to teach others how to help those that come to them. You are a great healer, not only of the physical but also the spiritual side.
I am grateful for all of the adjustments, blessings, and just plain being there for me. I love you with all my heart.
I love you!!